January 24, 2015

How are we raising boys?

This past weekend a local police officer, 31 years old, was shot and killed by an 18 year old young man (he had previous drug charges).

Last month in our city another police officer, 34 years old, was shot and killed by a 28 year old man (he had previous charges of theft, assault and robbery).

how are we raising boys

Our city is devastated. People are shocked. How could this have happened? Who were these reckless men who would shoot police officers and then kill themselves?  Everyone involved is just too young!  My heart hurts for these families.  But I have to ask myself – as a boy mom …


I’m not pointing fingers at parents and claiming someone did a poor job – this post really isn’t about the news.  

This post is about parenting and where we go from here.

I’m seeing many young boys with the potential to be great men.  Are we helping them get there?  

My own sons, my son’s friends, sons in church, sons in our neighborhoods – are they being guided with hope and expectations of becoming great men?

Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6

Are we fooling ourselves believing violent video games will not strip our boys of all moral fiber.

Are we fooling ourselves by allowing television shows to be the leading example of truth.

Are we fooling ourselves and relying on others to raise our own children.

Yes, it might take a village but the village is getting more corrupt and lazy about intentional parenting!

Boys are becoming desensitized.  Shootings, violence, gore, sex, and corruption are pumped down their throats and it’s becoming common!

We say “oh that would never be my son” … are you certain?  

Are you leaving that up to chance?

We can easily turn up our noses and harrumph about boys nowadays - want to hear something really heartbreaking about two daughters?  

Both incidents with the above mentioned police officers … the girlfriends of the killers were there with them.  Supporting them.  One survived, one did not.

Moms, Dads – please – take back your right to parent your children and raise them up well!

Turn off the television and talk to your children.

Put down their idevices and play with them.

Get off the computer and spend some time ~  one-on-one time with your children.

Stop being distracted.


Twitter doesn’t matter.

Pinterest doesn’t matter.

Whatever Candy Crush is ridiculous.

That college game – can not possibly mean more than your child’s character.

Stop waiting until tomorrow. Or leaving it up for Sunday church teachers to handle.

Love those boys (and girls) the way they need to be loved.

Take time to pour God’s Word into their hearts.

Praise them.

Encourage them.

Guide them.

Pray with them.

Love them.

And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God. Micah 6:9

comments powered by Disqus
  • http://www.theunlikelyhomeschool.com Jamie

    Stef, loved the post! As a mom of four boys, I completely agree. I agree with Rebecca, Raising Real Men has a great outlook on boys playing with guns.

  • http://www.momsmustardseeds.com Rebecca

    In Raising Real Men, Hal and Melanie explain that they don’t like their boys pretend to shoot at other people. They can shoot at make believe monsters, etc and I like that. We have implemented this in our home. Boys need to be taught how to protect and how to lead. They do this by learning how to follow and they will follow what they see. Their hearts will grow callous to what they see – the constant violence is not raising a world of godly men. Boys never spending time with their Father and mother is not raising a generation of Fathers who will engage with their children and raise the next generation.
    Great post, Stef…